GS Free Sample Test Section II Writing Task B

[admin]

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[dirtworm]

Below is a practice essay for the topic of beauty vs. deeper qualities. There were many quotes related to confidence contributing more to beauty than physical features or the one which I focused on which was more along the lines of

"People who are born without beauty learn to develop their personality and other ways to cope, people who are born with beauty have a hurdle to overcome."

Just looking at it, I'm afraid I may not have made it personal enough. I probably should have talked about personality characteristics like the ability to not take things too seriously or not be easily flustered. I'm also not sure it's formal enough, maybe some of my wording could have been more formal. What about the length, probably could have used another example or two? I have a hard time thinking of how to make it more organised.

Thanks for your tips

Physical attractiveness or beauty is such a powerful force, it's seen everywhere in popular culture and the emulation or pursuit of beauty takes great sums of time and effort from many people. It is fascinating how powerful attractiveness can be in personal relationships or when looking for a job especially when it is viewed as such a superficial factor compared to other human qualities. Since beauty can make many hurdles in life easier to pass, maybe a lack of beauty is an advantage in disguise by forcing people to learn other ways of overcoming hurdles.

Science shows that a relationship between two lovers often starts due to mutual physical attraction; however, it quickly fades unless a deeper connection can be made. Personality and other less superficial attributes eventually trump physical features as the relationship progresses. As people grow older, the physical features change and the relationship is forced to focus on the less physical attributes. Beautiful people, who's relationship was built more strongly on beauty, may have a more difficult time adjusting when beauty disappears.

Some of the greatest individuals became great because they had no easy way to travel through life. One of the most famous chemists of all time, whose name I can't remember, established a scientific approach to the work of a coroner. Perhaps if he had stronger superficial characteristics he would have been able to succeed without great effort but instead he grinded his way through school by studying while working a low paying night shift job. He excelled in school while working hard, tiring shifts and eventually landed a job creating experiments to test for various substances. He published many scientific papers related to lethal doses of various poisons and some of his research is still used today. Perhaps his greatest legacy was the establishment of the Food and Drug Administration which would not have occurred had he not been present to further the public's trust in science.

Necessity is the mother of invention and difficulty is the mother of adaptability. People who lack beauty are at an advantage compared to their beautiful counterparts who effortlessly glide through life because a lack of beauty requires hard work and less superficial qualities which, in the long term, are more valuable.

[Justice]

This is my Task B essay which I forgot to title. Any feedback would be appreciated.

True beauty is found within yourself. Once you find the beauty that you can bring into the world, you will understand your own value. I agree with the quote from Ross Burton, "Beauty equals confidence. You can be the pretties woman on the planet but if you are not confident, it's not going to matter what reflection you see in the mirror." This is self-evident, however, I did not always understand this and once thought that the beautiful were somehow better, more well-rounded people than the rest of the world. That is why I always sought beauty instead of substance.

Growing up I had this idea that beautiful individuals, women in particular, were all intelligent, smart, funny, well-mannered people who all had supreme confidence and deserved every great thing this world had to offer. I also felt incredibly inferior when around such individuals and tried my hardest at an early age to build up confidence just to approach these types of people. Once I finally did encounter more beautiful women as I grew up, I experienced something I did not expect. These individuals were not sent from heaven, perfectly designed, incredibly advanced or even moderately mannered most of the time. More often than not, they were just like me. They felt incredibly flawed, had personality issues, felt inferior around certain people, and may have even felt more self-conscious than me. One example is a crush I had in high school. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and at the time I could think of nothing else. I worked on my confidence for ages, asking friends for advice on what to wear, joining clubs to get fit, etc. Once I finally became friends with my crush I was sad to realise that everything I had believed about her was not entirely true. I became disenchanted and treated her on a friendly basis as opposed to someone I wanted to date. During my time in high school this was a major development for me and it forced me to reassess everything I thought I knew about human attraction and personal development.

Once I started to rethink how I saw attractive people, I started to feel more confident in myself. I had developed myself to the point where I was confident in my abilities, knowledge, and self-understanding. I did not have to rely on genetic gifts in order to feel satisfied with who I was as an individual. And once I started to meet more people who are also just as confident or even more so, I found the beauty in a wider range of people that I never knew existed before. It has been said that "It's beauty that captures your attention; personality that captures your heart."-by unknown. I was always so focused on who was attractive that I never noticed the truly beautiful people around me who were working incredibly hard to better themselves and those around them. An example of this is seen when Golda Meir states "Not being beautiful was the true blessing. Not being beautiful forced me to develop my inner resources. The pretty girl has a handicap to overcome." I saw now that this was very true and the evidence was all around me. I changed from truly believing that outward beauty meant inner beauty, to seeing that inner beauty was true beauty.

All around the world still, there are many who dwell on the concept of physical beauty. They want to be seen as beautiful or want beautiful people to notice them. As I have shown, the more you look past an individual's outer appearance and discover what they have to offer as far as their personality, you will have a much clearer picture of the kind of person they are and will immediately know their value. And once more people start to look within themselves and focus on their own personal development as individuals, as opposed to just looking better than others and wearing nice clothes, then the world will be less superficial and more loving and understanding. For its as Grey Livingston said, "Beauty - in projection and perceiving - is 99.9% attitude." So once you fix your attitude, you will appear as beautiful as you want to be. This would be helpful to the student who has a crush who they can't relate to, or the actor who feels incredibly self-conscious of their looks, or the ordinary citizen who feels bland and unimportant. First you must seek substance, once you find that, you would have truly found beauty.

[kaitlyn.t]

Hi, was hoping someone could critique my writing piece in response to the statement: "Beauty equals confidence. You can be the prettiest woman on the planet but if you are not confident, it’s not going to matter what reflection you see in the mirror."
thanks

I have seen the prettiest girl in the room lock herself in the bathroom to cry because she did not feel pretty enough.
I've had her cry on my shoulder because her boyfriend told her that she looked too fat in the clothes she was wearing.
I held her hand while she told me that from the age of 7 her father told her she would never be good enough for anyone.
I consoled her when she confided that her mum once said "stop eating so much, it'll go straight to your hips honey. No man loves a fat girl."
She was 5'9, a size 10, a healthy weight by medical standards. She had a smile that could make anyone’s day shine a little brighter, and a laugh that made the whole world laugh along with her.
She hated her reflection.
Confidence is key, so everyone says.
With a bit of help, since that day
I have watched that same girl walk into a room full of people and dance like no one was watching.
I have saw her fall in love with a man who told her every day that she was worthy. Loved. Beautiful.
I have stood by her side as she chased her dreams without fear of failure holding her back.
I smiled with her when she introduced me to new friends that lifted her up instead of tearing her down.
I have watched confidence grow inside her like a flower that never stops blooming.
I have watched her shine because her confidence allowed her to finally believe that she was good enough.
Confidence is key, and you damn well better believe it.